*Starts playing Angel by Sarah McLachlan*

Tired of the same mundane New Years posts? Mindless scrolling through a sea of perfectly posed families. Even the family dog is smiling. I know what you’re thinking, you need some excitement, some chaos if you will. You crave a little havoc. Well, look no further. Because you have stumbled upon an entire post dedicated to year end disorder.

My name is Lyndsey. Each wedding season I devote my time to making sure there is accurate representation of what it looks like to hire me as your wedding photographer. If you’re new here and new to this concept, I’m going to warn you, it’s quite the jump scare. Years ago I decided to stop creating these beautiful year end blogs of me *trying* to look cute and dainty on wedding days. Its around the time I realized I walk like Bigfoot. So now, I do real instead of unauthentic. A few things to keep in mind as you enter:

1. There are a lot of chins in this post. I like cake. I eat cake at every wedding. Cake makes chins.
2. I apparently need more dress clothes. I’m wearing the same three shirts the whole time. My bad.
3. Jan thinks with her face. I swear she’s happy. She’s been my employee of the month 13 years running. Solid worker.
4. It is now obvious even through pictures I have undiagnosed ADD.
5. I love my job and have had the best time hanging out with so many new and familiar faces.

Starting off strong with a great angle from J-Dawg. Them Old Navy pants coming in clutch.

I will get distracted by a bubble machine. Honestly, I get distracted by most things.

J-Swizzle found a coffee station. She proceeded to drink 3 cups of coffee and demand I give her a raise. No more coffee stations for J-Swizzle.

I quite literally almost fell off this porch 4 times in the span of two first looks. At one point I was wrapped around the gutter to prevent falling. Dramatic? Yes.

Have you ever seen someone carry a dress with such poise? Such control. It’s truly admirable. She’s only carried close to 300 of them.

This is the face of someone who had a gallbladder attack the night before and is now contemplating whether or not the bagel platter is worth it.

I told her I was just checking light and I would delete these. I didn’t delete them.

Yep. Still playing in bubbles. At the time I thought, this girl probably thinks I’m so fun. But now I’m realizing she probably thought I was kinda weird. What 30 year old just plays by themselves in a bubble blower?

An actual conversation

Me: The dog is fine. Do not force your love onto the dog.

Jan-Z: I NEED HIM.

Sometimes I just pretend to know how to properly fluff dresses.

These were ground coffee bags for guests as party favors. I smuggled one. Sorry Chandler and Reid.

This is J.J.-Siwa after I told her to put on a happy smile. A+ for effort girl.

Me coming back to report the cake had not yet been cut.

I can appreciate some quality brick. I mean look at that character!

I am entirely too close to them. There is no need to literally be this close. Why am I the way I am?

Ah yes, here we have Jan Cena just chilling in the background of my first look location. I do in fact see you there.

Some of the best pictures taken all day.

“Do we have time to run through Sonic for cheesy tots before the reception?”

JAZZ HANDS, KIRK. JAZZ. HANDS.

This is when I told her “were just gonna squat here and wait for the kiss while our legs go to sleep but its fine. We can’t move.”

…Continues to play Sarah McLachlan….

A couple things we know for sure. Wedding days are long. Summers are hot. And pigs can’t look up.

Boutonnieres go on better if you stick out your tongue.

This was post rain. I’m damp. Lyndsey doesn’t enjoy being damp.

I’m just gonna scooch in here and help ya.

The smile is sarcasm. I just asked her to run back inside because I forgot to grab my 85mm. It’s cold. Jackie Jan doesn’t do cold or running.

I fought off a family of wasps and partially ripped my pants for this shot.

It just gets worse. I don’t even know what pose would require such a low embrace.

There were snakes around this pond. She made eye contact with two. That was two too many for Janet.

I will show you my Bob’s Burgers signature dance move anytime you ask.

Timelines are serious. Janis is a stickler for a solid timeline.

When your friends are also bridesmaids and also videographers.

Classic. An absolute classic toss by the one and only.

I am opening a side business. Midgett Brush Removal.

“Yeah you’re doing great! Keep going.”

That face says “We for sure have time for cheesy tots before the reception.”

Dedicated to the craft. Just unfortunate execution.

I don’t know why I’m hanging on that post for dear life? But I seem confident.

A lot of mixed reactions here.

These are 100% the best cupcakes I’ve ever eaten and I will continue to think about them every day for the rest of my life.

Jane recruited help for family formals. It truly is a team effort.

Criminal offensive side eye.

“IF WERE GETTING CHEESY TOTS YOU GOTTA PICK UP THE PACE!”

It’s the fact I walk around every day with the capabilities of producing this face.

When rain is coming you don’t have time to sacrifice a photographer to hold veils. You force groomsmen to help you.

When a dress malfunction arrises, all you need is a vision, a prayer, and a lot of double sided tape.

I’ve been trying to reach you about your car’s extended warranty.

Ah yes, another great shot of Jeff Goldblum coming to grab me about changes in the timeline.

You wanna do what pose?

The symmetry. Its art.

Thank you for another memorable wedding season. It has truly been a fantastic year. Stay classy, San Diego.